July 14, 2020
In a week that is very lite on, erm, me (due to holiday) the Gang of 6 attempt to make a break for freedom and stage a guerilla podcast all on their own.
Led heroically by G'Day Simon the truncated team try to cover topics as varied as making tea with toothbrushes, if charm bracelet charms have a role in wargaming, how to tell which beach is which when it comes to 1970's episodes of Dr Who, what a Scotsman would wear under his badger onsie, just how close a miss is a cannonball between the legs, whether a washing machine can be used to mix paint (or if a tumble dryer would be better), what is Sean Bean's second-best swearword, and will the "Austrians - don't they all wear white?" discussion will end up running for longer than the pandemic.
In addition there is (almost) the full range of regular features including answering the questions that weren't actually asked last week, the regular painting review, a comparison of two Achaemenid Persian lists in ADLG (including a battle between the two lists as well), Andy's Quiz and the week in the team's wargaming.
The only thing missing is, erm, me - but I'll be back next week!
July 3, 2020
Now deep into it's troubled teenage phase, the Madaxeman Lockdown Podcast series continues to boldly go where few if any wargaming-themed podcasts have dared to go before.
This week the foolhardy seven consider whether a Napoleonic LoTR crossover movie could stage its apocalyptic final battle scene in Bramall Lane stadium, how toothbrushes helped the British Army of the Rhine ward off a Warpac invasion in the 1980's, the current statistics for underpants-wearing in Harrow, fashion trends in Janissary headgear, how best to recover frosted figures, whether Adele would have re-written her global smash single "Chasing Pavements" if she had known about laser-cut MDF back in 2008, whether a steam powered organ needs more wheels or less legs, and how many Light Horse are Too Many?
Andy's quiz also enjoys a stunning return to surreal and bizzarre form, we attempt to answer the questions we failed to ask last week, the Assyrian and Sargonid army gets a thorough investigation, Teaching Timmy about Napoleon reaches the point in the wars in which everyone starts to say "Bastard" in a Yorkshire accent, there's more Tabletop Simulator action to report on, and we do even learn something about painting - and all of that happens before we end with a fascinating discussion about antipodean animal accidents.
June 26, 2020
99 days into the UK Lockdown and the tsunami of mixed-quality painting continues to roll on and on across seven different desks spread far and wide across the Southern half of England, and yet again this is your chance to share that experience in full stereophonic audio quality.
In this week's episode there is a vague attempt made to answer the questions posed in this exact same block of text last week but which last week's podcast failed to even mention, the many questions that the subject of badgers always throws up are debated in probably the most thorough way ever seen on any wargaming-specific podcast, the Later Ottoman army gets picked apart in both it's Serbian and non-Serbian incarnations, and Andy's Quiz returns yet again.
Other topics given a 99-day airing include what the best paint schemes are for burger bars, whether Napoleon ever got irritated with the Austrians always suing for peace after he beat them, which blue is best for painting denim, what is the correct way to pronounce your own name in a Swiss bowling alley, is there a way out of existential Janissary angst, what's the correct payment-in-kind for a 3 hour truck ride across Alabama, just how big is Steve from LBMS' house, and whether Ancient British baggage now needs to include an underground bypass for your own personal 15mm A303.
June 17, 2020
Unlucky for some (listeners...) perhaps, but the 13th edition of the Madaxeman Lockdown Podcast series comes out early again in an attempt to avoid an unfortunate coincidence of "Friday" and the number 13, which we all feared may risk causing untold numbers of superglue-related accidents up and down the land.
In a packed programme tonight Matthew, all seven contributors seek to contribute something of value in a tightly-edited episode which drills deep into subjects as diverse as solutions for saggy Egyptian chariot axles, what length of bungee cord is best to attach a duvet to the side of an elephant, whether Americans can ever be trusted, if having a wheel instead of a belly-button is a positive evoltionary step in a city with lots of stairs, strategies for exhibiting Hungarian photography in public, shipping times between the UK and Australia, which one of Napoleon's Marshalls would Bernard Bresslaw have played had Carry On Boney ever been made, do badgers make good toupees (or is it better to ask a fieldmouse to do the detailed stitching?) and how best to stick pins into horse riders nether regions.
Astoundingly, there's also another full episode of Teaching Timmy About Napoleon (sadly no cookery-themed content this week), an ADLG army list review of the Medieval Scandinavians (lists on the Wiki) and another outing for the ever-popular Andy's Quiz.
(Make sure to listen - or fast-forward - right to the very end for some unusual bonus content as well!)
June 11, 2020
It's one short of a bakers dozen for the Lockdown Podcast series with an early release this week that allows you to take full advantage of the rain sweeping across the country (applies in UK only) and get down to some serious painting.
This week the team of 7 struggle valiantly to try and make the subject of WW2 Pacific Theatre Naval Battles staged entirely during the hours of darkness in 1942 sound unfeasibly interesting, wait expectantly for the drilling to start, vandalize MDF light industrial buildings for entertainment, get confused between Hannibal and Napoleon, consider whether the Austro-Hungarian Empire could have staged it's own internal Eurovision Song Contest in the late 1700's, decide that the Late Imperial Roman Army is severely lacking in troops types which it isn't allowed to field, try to bring down the entire wargaming economy by proposing an alternative to the global barter system in partly-used LBMS transfer sheets and finally decide to ponder the question of if a blue giant monkey with wings isn't considered a bit weird, just what is...?
There's also another full episode of Teaching Timmy About Napoleon (perhaps best summed up by the quote "I think I now know less about the Napoleonic Wars than I did before the start of this feature"), an ADLG army list review of the Late Imperial Romans (lists on the Wiki) and in a boon to lovers of military poetry and sub-par French regional deep house techno, the return of Andy's Quiz.
Some of the stuff we talk about can even be seen online
June 5, 2020
In another surprisingly lengthy podcast the full team celebrate being back together with conversation that covers all bases, as well as a few associated basing materials.
Topics addressed in almost painstaking detail include whether ink is just watered down paint with a better PR, if starting a new period by painting the terrain before the figures is a crime against nature, whether if ArmyPainter is good enough for goblins does that mean it's also good enough for the legions of Rome, how long can anyone talk about an army who's uniforms are all white, definitive proof that Eddy Izzard is actually talented at that comedy malarkey, is the choice to paint horses or riders first the wargamers equivalent of the age-old "clotted cream / jam" debate, how invading Egypt might be the ideal way to take a war to the British, and - of course, a timely reminder of the poetic genius of Eric Morcecambe.
There is also a discussion about that perennial under-achieving arab army, the Fatimid Egyptians in ADLG, another set of questions in Andy's Quiz, and the second triumphant week of Teaching Timmy about Napoleon.
May 29, 2020
With a frightening lurch into double figures (or a proper round dozen if paintbrushes and glue are your thing) the Lockdown team from Madaxeman.com are back yet again with the weekly soundtrack to a weekend of painting and avoiding household chores.
Hot topics for tepid discussion this week include whether the best yellow paint is in fact Plague Brown, the Tau of Fire Hydrant Numerology, whether there was an aftermarket for refitting Egyptian chariots with go faster stripes and pumping stereos, how posh would a Samurai leader need to be in order to qualify for a self flushing toilet, whether Sisyphus would have been daft enough to start painting 28 bases of horses and how many arms per man do you need to make Fireforge's box of Mongol infantry.
The regular feature on ADLG List Building this week covers the Nikephorian Byzantines (in all its various modes of spelling), Andy's quiz of course returns to help us all disco-down into the weekend, we talk in more depth about playing actual games on Tabletop Simulator, and a new feature is born in the shape (and theme tune) of Teaching Timmy About Napoleon, an idiot's guide to the Napoleonic Wars
May 22, 2020
As the landmark of a double-figure number of Lockdown Podcast Episodes rapidly approaches, and with almost 1,400 Podcast downloads in the last month under our belts the team of intrepid wannabe gamers and by-now-obsessive painters luxuriate yet again in the riches of a combined painting queue that stretches all the way from the pyramids of Ancient Egypt to the tower stacks of Mega City One.
In the fleeting moments of the podcast that take place before we reach Andy's Quiz Music a wide variety of debates take place - the best board games for feuding siblings, using the type of garden feature which would raise eyebrows in a parliamentary expenses committee for tabletop terrain, genetic similarities between Vikings and Saxons, whether treatments for 10mm addiction could be made available on the NHS, how to sneak lead through domestic customs inspections, and in a newly trimmed version of the ADLG list discussion we all take a vote on who we think would win in a Jurchen Ch'in-Jurchen Ch'in face-off (hint - the Song Chinese always come off worst...).
There's also a whole load of discussion about how Tabletop Simulator (available on Steam) might actually be the solution we all didn't realise we were looking for to get some (virtual) lead on a (virtual) table in the near future - all of which gets crammed in before Andy's Quiz.
May 15, 2020
This week a special guest joins us from the socially isolated South Coast town of Bournemouth in the shape of Adam to bring the number of contributors up to an almost unmaneagable 7 for the first time ever.
Even with someone who used to do a sensible job as a schoolteacher added to the mix, the wargaming-related conversation still manages to ramble across the mental tabletop in a somewhat erratic fashion, covering important yet strangely rarely discussed topics such as what colour should rigging be on a 1/240th scale 19th Century Ironclad, do Gnomes still have a place in modern warfare, can a camel get a tan if it stands out in the desert too long, is the Austrian army a painters dream or simply a signifier of laziness, if a Grenzer joined the cast of Eastenders would he become a Geezer, is it still legal to resist buying 10mm Napoleonics, and does getting your children to paint Perry plastics fall under the remit of the Modern Day Slavery act?
There is also a phenomenally long discussion on how to assemble and use Hannibals Carthaginian army under ADLG (skip to the 1 hour 25 minute mark when you get to it if you're not interested in ADLG list building), and a new feature on what games we have actually played in the last week.
Oh, and Andy's Quiz returns - cue the music!
May 14, 2020
Another special one-off bonus episode addressing the sticky subject of wargaming glues (see what I did there?). In this podcast a team of 7 reasonably unqualified gamers attempt to stretch out what on the surface looks to be a fairly flimsy topic to over half an hour of what turns out to be sometimes useful* chat and banter.
Consideration is given to the three main types of glue - sticking-shields-on-type-glue, basing glue and plastic modelling glue.
Even more astonishingly there is some bonus out-take glue-chat at the end - so make sure to listen all the way through!
(* Yes, mostly from Tamsin again. Of course)