August 7, 2020
This 20th, epic (aka "extra long") episode marks the final chapter in the first series of Weekly Lockdown Podcasts, with the full crew eventually assembling to take a standardly discursive tour around the usual array of wargaming topics - but with a twist!
The regular "What did you paint last week" morphs seamlessly into "You've painted how much in the last 20 weeks !!??" , Teaching Timmy About Napoleonics goes all Abba and hits the giddy heights of the most coveted piece of terrain in wargames history (the Airfix Waterloo Farmhouse), our session on actual gaming includes some, erm, actual face to face, historically accurate re-enactment type gaming, and Andy's Quiz attempts to run for longer than the long march back from Moscow in a (mercifully-edited-down) special recapping the whole of the Napoleonic Wars.
There is also a poem, an army list discussion about a list that at least one of us has actually used before in a real competition, there are theme-tunes galore and of course some post-credits out-takes and audio easter eggs.
Yes, a fitting endcap to this 20-week run of weekly podcast specials.
We will be back... but we all need a few weeks rest first!
July 31, 2020
19 weeks in and things are getting even more weird in the virtual Madaxeman Lockdown studio, as the regular team of 7 expands with a couple of pithy, succinct and historically accurate contributions from Mrs Andy in this weeks rambling episode.
Mixed in amongst the usual melange of gaming- and painting-themed content the happy podcastonaughts today ponder whether it is fair to say that nude badgers are indeed living the dream, whether any 8th century axe-makers would have considered advertising through shirt sponsorship, if glueing a vibrating love egg into the two halves of a 28mm plastic horse is good for helping them not fall over on the tabletop, how many hussars would have taken part if McMafia had been filmed in Paris rather than London, if Ulrikakakaka Johnsson would have made a better chariot runner or charioteer archer, and whether El Dorado hops are actually a real thing or just a cunning ruse to make wannabe hipsters pay double price for a can of Stella Artois with a funny label stuck on it.
July 24, 2020
As Lockdown gently unwinds across the UK, the full team are assembled again for a seven-hander episode that reaches the parts other gaming podcast cannot reach, gives them a good old scratch and then eats whatever is under it's fingernails for good measure.
In this week's episode consideration is given to how to choose the best filling for an LBMS transfer sandwich, we ask the vital question "wet palettes - vital painting tools, or just margerine tubs with pretentions?", the contentious subject of whether face to face gaming will ever really replace online play is fully aired, a vital but often neglected topic on the degree of crossover between gardening and wargaming is exhumed and dissected, we ponder the idea that there may be telephones and newspapers in the future, and the answer is (eventually) coughed up to that age-old question of what brush should you use to paint an elephant?
As well as these riveting subjects Andy's Quiz this week is all about swearing, the Napoleonic Saga reaches the grim depths of a Russian winter with the March on Moscow and the Battle of Borodino, and the army list debate delves deep into the ins and outs of the very end-of-empire Latest Byzantines.
This week's links:
July 18, 2020
With the UK lockdown gently easing the team are still a 6-pack this week (although more in the "beer" than the "washboard stomach" idiom) as they canter through the full set of features and distractions in another 2-hour session to accompany your wargaming painting.
This week the thorny subject of Reverse Vodka Brexit rears it's ugly head, Vallejo Urban Graffiti'ed Concrete paint gets evaluated in comparison to their very handy Vallejo Tartan dropper bottle, the discussion on jam or clotted cream is revisited in proper military style, whether it's ever fair to let your kids play with your best toys is debated for a very short period of time, the prevalence of French rugby shirts in 6th Century AD Europe is considered, the question of how irregular should an irregular warband be is tossed on the table and gently kicked to death, and the role played by of brick-filled barges in the Napoleonic wars is fully resolved to no-one's satisfaction.
In addition there is Andy's Quiz, the painting and gaming roundups return, Teaching Timmy About Napoleon covers a series of battles against the Austrians (again!), and the team vote on the best iterations of the French Ordannance army (#234 in ADLG).
July 14, 2020
In a week that is very lite on, erm, me (due to holiday) the Gang of 6 attempt to make a break for freedom and stage a guerilla podcast all on their own.
Led heroically by G'Day Simon the truncated team try to cover topics as varied as making tea with toothbrushes, if charm bracelet charms have a role in wargaming, how to tell which beach is which when it comes to 1970's episodes of Dr Who, what a Scotsman would wear under his badger onsie, just how close a miss is a cannonball between the legs, whether a washing machine can be used to mix paint (or if a tumble dryer would be better), what is Sean Bean's second-best swearword, and will the "Austrians - don't they all wear white?" discussion will end up running for longer than the pandemic.
In addition there is (almost) the full range of regular features including answering the questions that weren't actually asked last week, the regular painting review, a comparison of two Achaemenid Persian lists in ADLG (including a battle between the two lists as well), Andy's Quiz and the week in the team's wargaming.
The only thing missing is, erm, me - but I'll be back next week!
July 3, 2020
Now deep into it's troubled teenage phase, the Madaxeman Lockdown Podcast series continues to boldly go where few if any wargaming-themed podcasts have dared to go before.
This week the foolhardy seven consider whether a Napoleonic LoTR crossover movie could stage its apocalyptic final battle scene in Bramall Lane stadium, how toothbrushes helped the British Army of the Rhine ward off a Warpac invasion in the 1980's, the current statistics for underpants-wearing in Harrow, fashion trends in Janissary headgear, how best to recover frosted figures, whether Adele would have re-written her global smash single "Chasing Pavements" if she had known about laser-cut MDF back in 2008, whether a steam powered organ needs more wheels or less legs, and how many Light Horse are Too Many?
Andy's quiz also enjoys a stunning return to surreal and bizzarre form, we attempt to answer the questions we failed to ask last week, the Assyrian and Sargonid army gets a thorough investigation, Teaching Timmy about Napoleon reaches the point in the wars in which everyone starts to say "Bastard" in a Yorkshire accent, there's more Tabletop Simulator action to report on, and we do even learn something about painting - and all of that happens before we end with a fascinating discussion about antipodean animal accidents.
June 26, 2020
99 days into the UK Lockdown and the tsunami of mixed-quality painting continues to roll on and on across seven different desks spread far and wide across the Southern half of England, and yet again this is your chance to share that experience in full stereophonic audio quality.
In this week's episode there is a vague attempt made to answer the questions posed in this exact same block of text last week but which last week's podcast failed to even mention, the many questions that the subject of badgers always throws up are debated in probably the most thorough way ever seen on any wargaming-specific podcast, the Later Ottoman army gets picked apart in both it's Serbian and non-Serbian incarnations, and Andy's Quiz returns yet again.
Other topics given a 99-day airing include what the best paint schemes are for burger bars, whether Napoleon ever got irritated with the Austrians always suing for peace after he beat them, which blue is best for painting denim, what is the correct way to pronounce your own name in a Swiss bowling alley, is there a way out of existential Janissary angst, what's the correct payment-in-kind for a 3 hour truck ride across Alabama, just how big is Steve from LBMS' house, and whether Ancient British baggage now needs to include an underground bypass for your own personal 15mm A303.
June 17, 2020
Unlucky for some (listeners...) perhaps, but the 13th edition of the Madaxeman Lockdown Podcast series comes out early again in an attempt to avoid an unfortunate coincidence of "Friday" and the number 13, which we all feared may risk causing untold numbers of superglue-related accidents up and down the land.
In a packed programme tonight Matthew, all seven contributors seek to contribute something of value in a tightly-edited episode which drills deep into subjects as diverse as solutions for saggy Egyptian chariot axles, what length of bungee cord is best to attach a duvet to the side of an elephant, whether Americans can ever be trusted, if having a wheel instead of a belly-button is a positive evoltionary step in a city with lots of stairs, strategies for exhibiting Hungarian photography in public, shipping times between the UK and Australia, which one of Napoleon's Marshalls would Bernard Bresslaw have played had Carry On Boney ever been made, do badgers make good toupees (or is it better to ask a fieldmouse to do the detailed stitching?) and how best to stick pins into horse riders nether regions.
Astoundingly, there's also another full episode of Teaching Timmy About Napoleon (sadly no cookery-themed content this week), an ADLG army list review of the Medieval Scandinavians (lists on the Wiki) and another outing for the ever-popular Andy's Quiz.
(Make sure to listen - or fast-forward - right to the very end for some unusual bonus content as well!)
June 11, 2020
It's one short of a bakers dozen for the Lockdown Podcast series with an early release this week that allows you to take full advantage of the rain sweeping across the country (applies in UK only) and get down to some serious painting.
This week the team of 7 struggle valiantly to try and make the subject of WW2 Pacific Theatre Naval Battles staged entirely during the hours of darkness in 1942 sound unfeasibly interesting, wait expectantly for the drilling to start, vandalize MDF light industrial buildings for entertainment, get confused between Hannibal and Napoleon, consider whether the Austro-Hungarian Empire could have staged it's own internal Eurovision Song Contest in the late 1700's, decide that the Late Imperial Roman Army is severely lacking in troops types which it isn't allowed to field, try to bring down the entire wargaming economy by proposing an alternative to the global barter system in partly-used LBMS transfer sheets and finally decide to ponder the question of if a blue giant monkey with wings isn't considered a bit weird, just what is...?
There's also another full episode of Teaching Timmy About Napoleon (perhaps best summed up by the quote "I think I now know less about the Napoleonic Wars than I did before the start of this feature"), an ADLG army list review of the Late Imperial Romans (lists on the Wiki) and in a boon to lovers of military poetry and sub-par French regional deep house techno, the return of Andy's Quiz.
Some of the stuff we talk about can even be seen online
June 5, 2020
In another surprisingly lengthy podcast the full team celebrate being back together with conversation that covers all bases, as well as a few associated basing materials.
Topics addressed in almost painstaking detail include whether ink is just watered down paint with a better PR, if starting a new period by painting the terrain before the figures is a crime against nature, whether if ArmyPainter is good enough for goblins does that mean it's also good enough for the legions of Rome, how long can anyone talk about an army who's uniforms are all white, definitive proof that Eddy Izzard is actually talented at that comedy malarkey, is the choice to paint horses or riders first the wargamers equivalent of the age-old "clotted cream / jam" debate, how invading Egypt might be the ideal way to take a war to the British, and - of course, a timely reminder of the poetic genius of Eric Morcecambe.
There is also a discussion about that perennial under-achieving arab army, the Fatimid Egyptians in ADLG, another set of questions in Andy's Quiz, and the second triumphant week of Teaching Timmy about Napoleon.